Merry Christmas in a divorce.

As this year winds to a close, I am facing my first Christmas without my boys.  It would have been so easy to let the grief overtake me and spend the days ahead feeling sorry for myself, and to be truthful, that is very nearly where my holiday season went.  But instead of being consumed by bitterness and spending the days and nights in front of the TV with a keg of Malbec, I decided to embrace the unique opportunities this situation was going to afford me.  Seeing as it was going to take a direct intervention from God to change things, and He tends to prefer to work more behind the scenes, even at Christmas, I offered to work right through the holidays so I could give other people a chance to spend time with their loved ones while mine were so far away.  This plan will have the added bonus of saving me money on wine, and it's not like I could use the time to get caught up on anything out side the house.  Once I made the decision a huge weight just disappeared from my heart.  My boys just weren't going to be with me on the 25th of December.  And somehow, I didn't die with that moment of clarity.  Because of that choice, I get to celebrate Christmas with friends this year.  I'll still be surrounded by kids and people I care about, just not mine, I'll still get to eat what is sure to be a fantastic Christmas feast, I just don't have to cook it all.  This year I get to try a traditional vegan smorgasbord.  I'm sure it's going to be delicious.  I offered to try and prepare a vegan dish to contribute to the meal, but was politely turned down.  Most likely due to concern over my skill with that particular food preparation discipline.  This year will also mark my first ever visit to a store on Boxing Day.  I've managed to studiously avoid that rite of passage for my whole life because I needed to have everything done before Christmas eve.  This year, I get to try and save a bit by buying the bigger gifts on Boxing Day.  I suspect I'll need more than a bit of luck and a mountain of patience, neither of which I've ever had an abundance of in my life.  Perhaps I will buy some wine, just in case.  So here it is, Christmas Eve and I'm sitting in the mall, manning the kiosk, ostensibly being a Realtor, but mostly giving out directions, wearing shiny gold pants that I'm told make me look like a Christmas ornament because I've got carolling to go to afterwards, eating chocolate and donuts.  Not such a bad way to spend the night before Christmas.  Later I'll make sure to take pictures to send to my guys so I can show them Santa didn't forget them.  My little one is already questioning whether he's real or not, because he didn't get what he asked for.  But it's the same thing denied countless other kids before him, his family back.  I don't know what the new year will hold for us, but we've managed so far and when I get my boys back, they're going to get hugged so tight.  Merry Christmas!

As I clean my home, vacuuming up the bits of werewolf fur scattered about and the bits of white fleece and the packaging from the 20 plus glow sticks needed to bring my 4 year olds dream of a glow in the dark ghost costume.  My little guy has had a tumultuous and stressful couple of years adjusting to having his world turned upside down.  He's always been somewhat scared of the dark but last year, in the midst of the worst of the chaos, he absolutely refused to go trick or treating in the dark.  Things are calmer now, he'll stay in his own bed most nights and the stories of the loot his brother has gotten from his Halloween adventures inspired him to strike a deal with me.  He was willing to go trick or treating in the dark as long as he had a costume that lit up.  We settled on a ghost.  I ended up deciding to glue a bunch of flexible glow sticks to his baseball helmet and then covering it with white fleece to give him a classic cartoon ghost shape. 
His big brother's requests always seem to involve a lot more work.  He wanted to be a werewolf.  Specifically one with long sharp claws.  I covered a black stretchy hoody with long black fur and attached a nose and an impressive row of teeth to frame his face.  After a couple of false starts, I sculpted Fimo claws and sewed them to gloves using the button holes I poked through the base of them.  Both boys loved their costumes.  Unfortunately, the magical powers of the lighting up ghost did nothing to protect my little one from the terror his big brother instilled in him by growling at him while practicing his "werewolf-ness".  I found the little guy sobbing in a closet at one point.  We got through the bumpy start and I even managed to carve out a little time for me.  My self and a friend got ourselves all fancied up and went to see "The Rocky Horror Show" at the Royal Mcpherson Playhouse, put on by The Kaleidoscope Theater Production Society;  www.kaleidoscope.bc.ca .  It was hands down the most fun I've had since I moved to Victoria.  The cast did an amazing job.  We sang along, did the Time Warp, offered my ex husband to the drag queen mc'ing the costume contest, (no luck there, she didn't want him) and ate lots of cake with the cast afterwards.  I was mistaken for the lead more than once and I've decided it's because my butt looks like a 26 year old male dancer's, not just because of my height. 

I finally feel like I have carved out an identity for myself in Victoria, separate from my role as wife and mother and it feels fantastic.  I get to be me first, a mom next and a Realtor and artist too.  It's been an extremely difficult journey over the last couple of years, but every excruciating step has been worth it.  I can't wait for what life will bring me next.  I've taken down the last of the decorations and cleaned up the mess from all the empty candy wrappers and chunks of fur flying around and the only thing left to do is figure out exactly how much of the kid's candy I can eat before they notice.  I call it "candy tax".  It's payment for all the work I put into their costumes every year.  Now I get to take a little break before I start digging out the Christmas decorations.  :) 

It's one of my favorite times of year.  The trees turn all colours of fire and ochre, the sun is still glowing and warm, a chill settles into the night, the mornings are cloaked in a wispy blanket of fog and the non stop onslaught of over the top Christmas marketing has yet to crash it's consumerism down our throats.  I love October.  The kids have been back at school long enough that routines are established for all involved and we have yet to enter the long, seemingly endless, dreary, grey days that are our famously wet winters.  I am always the mom that shows up at school on Halloween in full costume, the ONLY mom to do so EVERY year as I was reminded by a very sullen 9 year old last year.  On the plus side of that, I now have leverage forever.  If he thinks it's embarrassing on Halloween, imagine how bad it would be if it happened on random other days, as "incentive".
This year, I've had the opportunity to share my love of this season with some truly remarkable people.  After someone let my preschooler play a zombie video game, he was plagued by nightmares for weeks.  I exhausted several more traditional methods for dealing with them with no success.  As a last ditch effort to get a full nights sleep, I decided to take him down to Victoria's annual Zombie Walk and introduce him to some "real zombies".  After a quick explanation from mom, everyone we met was super helpful in showing him that zombies were friendly and nothing to worry about.  He happily did sommersaults with a bunch of zombie kids and posed for pictures with assorted walking dead.  It worked like a charm.  I think he might have even had a bit of a crush on one cute little zombie princess!

I got to dust off some long unused skills and do both the make up for and appear in some fantastic photo shoots with local photographer, Darren Labiuk, of VL Photography.  I've made some amazing new friends from it and had an amazing time.  We did a highly demanded series of sugar skull style pin up editorials spanning an entire month of weekend to fit everyone in and I haven't run out of ideas for the make up yet.  It's a good thing there's still one shoot left.  I'm pondering a bit of a departure from my usual glam-centered, glitter and rhinestone encrusted, frosted, sugar faces and delving into a darker side of the season by trying out some of the zombie stuff myself.  But not too far.  I'm still going to wear all the glitz, just adding some of the gore to see how it goes.  Feel free check out the truly amazing work of one of this city's hidden treasures on his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/VLphotography0202?ref=stream&viewer_id=100003596165309, but I do have to warn you if you're squeamish, you might want to wait until the Christmas season is in full swing and you can see how gifted a photographer he really is.  For the heartier souls out there, keep your eyes peeled for the calendar coming soon.

Fall Family Fun Fair, 2013

     We are finally settled into a new school year, past the first round of sick bugs and Thanksgiving is just around the corner.  The days are getting shorter as the clock winds us ever closer to the holiday hub bub.  This year, we got to kick off fall with a bang by hosting the first ever annual Fall Family Fun Fair at our church.  What a great time we had planning, organizing and pulling off what turned out to be a truly successful event.  In my old life, BC, (Before Children), I was promoter and event planner, so this was an opportunity to dust off my old skill set and use them on something other than an insanely elaborate, themed birthday party for my kiddies.
As an added bonus, I got to utilize Pinetrest.  I have a love/hate relationship with the site.  As anyone who knows me can attest, I have a multitude of boards covering every conceivable topic and am constantly looking for great ideas to add to them.  It used to be that I was the one that threw the best parties because I was the one with the best ideas and I guarded them jealously.  The recipes, the decorating, the projects, the themes.  They were mine and if you wanted access to them it cost you.       Thanks to Pinterest, all that is over.  Anyone can plan a great event, with a minimum amount of time.  It's not all bad though.  I have a great new career in real estate and I can use my old skills for charitable events and fun, with much less stress.  I'm a little new to working cooperatively, when you're working with friends and volunteers, it's very important to be inclusive and polite, I've learned.  No paycheck means people are less likely to tolerate even a benevolent dictatorship.
Our lovely group of volunteers from Providence Community Church put together an amazing list of super fun activities for the families in Oak Bay to participate in.  We had pumpkin bowling, ring toss, an obstacle course, mask making, beading, face painting, clay creations.  Our big crowd pleasers were the Imagination Station, I was completely stunned and amazed by what the kids built out of blocks of wood, buttons, string, feathers, marbles and glue guns, The "Make Your Own Caramel Apple Bar", where kids got to dip a granny smith apples in a home made caramel dip and cover them in their choice of toppings, raging from mini marshmallows to gummy bears and everything in between.  Outside we had a "Haystack Candy scramble for kids to dig through for prizes, under a huge tent of course because this is Victoria.  Add to all that hot dogs and tons of baked goodies all donated to help raise money to send kids to school in Uganda.
    

Local Oak Bay businesses also donated a great array of prizes to be won by attendees.  It was a great way to introduce our selves to our neighbours, and in turn introduce them to a wonderful cause worth supporting in one of the most needed areas of our world.  Next year, hopefully, we'll get a little more cooperation from the Big Guy, and not have to implement a rain plan, but even if the weather is worse next year, we'll still have the inside of the Monterey Center, just in case.
Providence Community Church meets every Sunday at 1442 Monterey ave, Oak Bay, Victoria, at 10 am.  Everyone is welcome and we have a coffee meet and greet afterwards.  There are also lots of special events all year long.  For more information check out the website:   www.providencecommunitychurch.com

Getting healthy food into everyday life.

As a working, single mom, I am always asked where all my energy comes from and how I manage to accomplish everything that I get done.  A friend of mine has recently been diagnosed with a cancer and her interest in super foods has prompted me to look at how I feed myself and my family.  Most people fixate on my weight and want to know how I have stayed basically the same weight since my teen years.  They always seem to be asking for a secret that I can pass on, a magic pill of some sort that will allow them to maintain their current life style and be a size 4.  I don't have a secret, of course.  A lot of it is just plain genetics but I also eat very little processed foods.  I make most of mine and my kids food from scratch.  Every day, every meal.  I like to cook, I like to bake and on top of that, I'm extremely frugal.  I don't understand things like pancake mix.  From scratch it's: flour, baking powder salt, sugar, egg, oil, milk.  From a mix it's: mix, egg, oil, milk.  You are paying for some one to mix 3 ingredients for you.   And add a ton of chemicals.  I just don't get it.  Making it yourself, you get to control the salt and sugar levels and I keep a cooked container of quinoa in my fridge and add a couple of table spoons to the batter, sometimes extra wheat bran and on special occasions I add cocoa powder.  It's so much healthier and tastier than the store bought mixes and can be used for waffles as well.  My 9 year old just found out I have been putting quinoa in his waffles his whole life and was deeply disturbed to find out I have been making them healthy and that he never even noticed.   When I feel especially creative I experiment with gluten free flours, just for the challenge.  My ever present quinoa, I've discovered, can be run through the food processor once it is cold until it resembles the texture of cornmeal and be substituted into pretty much any baking for up to about half of the called for flour. The results are a little heavier, meatier, but always delicious.  I remember being absolutely heartbroken when my boy came home from a friend's house and informed me he had eaten the best food ever and asked if I knew you could get macaroni and cheese in a blue box.  I've gotten a little less fanatical as the boys have gotten older as I've realized I can't control everything they consume and concentrate on keeping our home as healthy as possible while still allowing them to experience the joys of a Happy Meal occasionally.  I keep our fridge stocked with Greek yogurt and accept that they will just go ask the neighbour's mom for the highly sugared,artificially coloured, individually packaged yoghurt facsimiles once in a while.  As a general rule we don't eat candy, fast food, potato chips, fried foods and to be honest we rarely even drink juice.  We drink iced tea made from no caffeine fruit teas with little to no added sugar.  We don't buy boxed cereal except as a treat.  Most mornings, I make oatmeal for us and stir in some of the pre cooked quinoa and mix it with unsweetened apple sauce and Greek yoghurt.  Some times we add nuts and seeds.  We make our own jams and preserves and we even make our own nut and seed butters from scratch.  It's a super fun and easy project with limitless flavour possibilities and nut combinations and a much cheaper option than store bought.  As for my seemingly boundless energy, it comes from a couple of sources, one, I love coffee, and secondly, I start every single day with my favorite smoothie.  It's packed full of great foods and is like eating ice cream for breakfast.  I blend ice, one banana, half an avocado, pure cocoa powder, peanut butter, Greek yoghurt, (I prefer vanilla) and milk.  Some times I throw in quinoa, strawberries, blueberries, or, next week, local blackberries we will be picking ourselves, pretty much anything else you could think of but most days I stick with the basics and race out the door with one in my hand as I rush of to school, pre school, work, daycare, church,volunteering .....It's my favorite way to start my day, right after my coffee.  So I guess what I'm saying is, I don't need to count calories, I know exactly what's in my food, because I put it there and whenever possible, I grow it too.  I don't mean to imply that I'm perfect, I've been known to eat an entire cheesecake for dinner.  I just don't do it more than once a year and I make sure it's at least a pumpkin one so it counts as a balanced meal.  Pumpkin=veggies, cheese=dairy and protein, crust=fiber and bonus points if you can sneak some quinoa into it.  My son and I just finished a batch of granola/quinoa/rice bars made with a touch of local honey.  Such a delicious treat, gluten free and for this batch anyways, nut free.  The next time we make them I think we'll add some dried local fruit, just don't forget to cook and cool the quinoa first, before you start substituting it into your favourite recipes, especially if you're putting it into your food processor or blender!  Trust me, once it glues itself into a ball, it's pretty much useless for food purposes.  It makes a decent, albeit pricey, play-dough substitute.

Helping kids in Uganda at the Oak Bay Night Market

                                                                                                 This blog is not about real estate, or how great Victoria is.  It's about helping our kids become great adults by leading by example for them,  Finding joy in their communities and giving back.  A couple of weeks ago, I got to volunteer at the Oak Bay Night Market, doing something I love, face painting for kids, raising money for something close to my heart, education for impoverished kids in Uganda.  Our tent will be up again for the market on August 21, 2013.  It was a wonderful evening spent with friends from our church, Providence Community Church, and our kids enjoying the beautiful Victoria sunshine while reaching out to the community around us and teaching our little ones the value of giving.  We had a blast.  My son managed to eat his weight in donated, fresh baked goodies that he carefully paid for, one at a time.  Fuelled by a raging sugar high and the noise and bustle around us, he proceeded to paint his entire face and every exposed centimetre of skin at least four separate times, in completely different themes each time, including times devoted to exploring minions, crocodiles, and ending up covered head to toe with gold glitter tiger stripes  .Some how his appearance didn't seem to scare off any of the parents as the little ones lined up to have their faces made even brighter.  One of the most asked for adornments was ice cream cones, a no brainer for such a gorgeous day, the days most challenging request had to be a blueberry, for a little girl who, as it turns out, didn't even like them.  Thankfully, her standards weren't that high and mottling the blue and purple seemed to help make it more fruit like.  Among other things, I learned that nobody likes the silver face paint when there's gold available and that there is no such thing as a kid that says no to added glitter.  We also got to teach our kids and community about the realities of growing up in Uganda.  20 years of guerilla warfare combined with poverty, illness and displacement has resulted in almost 10% of the population being orphans.  That is a staggering 2.5 million children.  Almost half of the country's population is under the age of 14, a full 49%.  An additional 21% are between 15 and 24.  Only 4% of the population make it past the average life expectancy of 54 years old.  Most die of preventable and/or curable diseases.  Malaria causes 20% of all childhood deaths, an especially frightening statistic considering that the most effective weapon against it are treated mosquito nets that are unaffordable for most families at a cost of $5.  I'm no stranger to tough choices and sacrificing things but I can't fathom losing my baby over $5, the cost of a latte.  One of the most effective solutions to end the cycle of poverty is education.  For comparison, the average Ugandan adult has received 3.5 years of education to our comparable average of 11.5 years.  100%  of the donations we took in go directly to meet the needs in Uganda, managed by indigenous Ugandan Dan Muwanguzi.  Through him and Christian model ministries, 46 orphans are currently receiving an academic education.  School fees for 1 year of primary education is $210 Cnd.  We had such a great time bring happy smiles to kids here and on the other side of the world and got to put some real parenting time into raising compassionate, caring human beings.  We will be there again on August 21st, 2013.  I hope you come out and find us and enjoy some of the baked goods and get a joyfully, if less than perfectly rendered, duck, balloon, or glittered tiger stripes painted on and get some more info on how we can help kids and families in Uganda directly.  We'll see you at the next night market or join us every Sunday in the Monterey Center,  1442 Monterey ave, at 10 am.  Providence Community Church

Summer in Victoria is well under way, with all the fun this wonderful area has to offer.  It is easy and tempting to overlook those that live outside our society's norm while we play in the sun.  The summer months bring a whole new set of obstacles facing the poorer families both here and around the world.  My boys and I spent our Sunday combining the summer outdoors with family, friends, food and altruism.  Sunday was a fundraiser for the Victoria Street Soccer Association, held at the main field behind Victoria High School.  It's not a very glamorous charity, mostly supported privately.  Weekly games are held year round for the marginalized of our society to participate in organized sports, get a meal, (provided by Fat Daddy's Bbq), build community ties and self esteem and in general, participate in the society around them in a meaningful way.  It is loosely affiliated with Street Soccer Canada and the Homeless World Cup and follows the same goals for reaching out to the community.  For more information their achievements and personal stories, as well as upcoming events, click this link:  http://www.streetsoccercanada.org/   The fundraiser on Sunday raised money to pay for the rental of the gym in the Fernwood Community Center over the winter so the players and supporters can get out of the cold wet weather while they participate.  It was a great day to enjoy a barbequed burger with my good friend Alicia and all our kids.  She made the time to come out and support the guys after just completing her own fundraiser for VIDEA, The Victoria International Development Education Association.  She, and her family, kids included, completed a Global Solidarity Challenge that had them trying to live without many of our first world perks.  My personal favorite highlight of her week was the wonderful pictures she posted of her kids enduring cold water bucket baths.  Click here for info on her pledge or to donate:  Alicia's paricipant page  It was a great day, with the only injury being sustained by my 4 year old, a bloody nose, caused by the 9 year old, soccer ball to the face.  We enjoyed our burgers in the sun and Fat Daddy's contribution to her cause put her over the $600 mark for the week.  It was a great way to support our community and pass on some of our good fortune to others as well as being a reminder to keep finding ways to reach out to others in our busy, busy lives.  The next time you are running around our amazing city, enjoying all our wonder amenities, it might be a nice idea to put your Costco card to good use and buy a flat of water to hand out to some of our less fortunate to help beat the summer heat.  Drinking water should be a basic human right, but for all too many in the world, it is a luxury.  I hope to see you out at the next fundraiser.  Info on VIDEA:  Victoria International Development Education Association

I just love living in Victoria.  This is truly one of the most naturally beautiful places on Earth.  The sky is bluer here, the clouds whiter, the foliage lusher, the grass, literally and figuratively, greener.  There is no other time of year that this oasis is more enjoyable than the long, bright, joyful days of summer.  Our normally outgoing and friendly citizens become beaming neighbours to all who visit our home.  I look around our fair city and I swear that even our asphalt and concrete are more appealing shades of grey and black.  I don't think there has been a moment since I moved here that I've wanted to live some where else.  Don't get me wrong, there are things I miss about living in more cosmopolitan and urban metropolises.  I miss rapid transit and subways.  I most assuredly miss the culture and arts available in bigger cities.  I miss restaurants that don't need to rely on tourists to make it through the year.  I miss an independent music scene that extends beyond garage bands.  And boy, do I ever miss vintage shopping as a full fledged hobby.  Trust me, what we have here is vintage lite, at best.  But whenever the nostalgia threatens to become more than a nagging sensation, it only takes a short trip over to Vancouver to visit friends to remind me of why I came here in the first place.  I love the city I grew up in but everything here is just cleaner, fresher and shinier.  I love the fact that when they were designing our newest mall, instead of fighting human nature, they just made the centre of the court yard essentially a water park.  There are no security guards to chase kids out of the fountain in the heat of summer.  Just a welcoming green space surrounded by benches filled with families happily playing together, sharing summer treats with strangers while their kids become fast friends jumping and running in the water splashing against the Van Gogh inspired mosaic tiled fountain.  Don't get me wrong, I still whole-heartedly oppose pretty much everything Wal Mart stands for, but I'm also convinced that we probably have the nicest looking one in existence.   I love living in Victoria.  It truly is a bit of heaven on Earth.  As I once heard some one say, "God has done an absolutely amazing job on all the little squiggly bits  around here!"

    These days I am always having to take a deep breath and remind myself that worry rarely changes the outcome of any situation.  That, when faced with what at first seem like insurmountable obstacles in life, we, as moms, can generally pull off near miracles from just the contents of our cupboards.  When I embarked on this journey of parenting, I, like most people, was much more at it before I had put in any actual woman hours.  Always ready to offer unsolicited advice and quick to judge.

     Having been blessed with a relatively quiet and subdued first boy child, I was able to merrily sail along balancing parenting with working nights and congratulating myself on my vastly superior parenting skills because we were able to go to fancy restaurants with toddler in tow and he would sit quietly at the table and read his books or play with his cars while we basked in the envy of every other parent in the place.  The arrival of boy number 2 quickly dispelled any illusions I had regarding the level of control one actually has over one's children.  I understand now who is actually in charge.

I am now the mom that gets shot dirty looks and not so quiet remarks of derision from the childless and from those parents that had the good sense to stop at one, as I attempt to maintain an ounce of dignity and professionalism while I drag an irate toddler through the mall by one leg (face up, of course) as I race from one appointment to another, so I can pick up the older boy from school on time and get him to one of a million extra curricular activities.  I now know you get the easy baby first, it ensures the propagation of the species.  If the order had been reversed in my two, there would not have been a second one, I'd have been too afraid.  Continuing to work nights while juggling a newborn with the early mornings of a school aged child proved that human beings, even moms, need SOME sleep.  So with that realisation, combined with the knowledge that I'm just driving the crazy train and am not really in control of anything, I decided a drastic career change was now a necessity, not just a dream.

     I decided on a new career that would allow me the freedom to be with my kids, that combined many of my skills and interests and settled upon real estate.  It was shortly after becoming licensed that, once again, reality began to intrude into my plans.  I find myself about a year in and faced with the never easy task of trying to explain current market conditions and, now a single mom, juggling kids, sick days, work and home.  My new career is fun, challenging, interesting and in many ways, not at all what I had envisioned when I started this journey.  I truly love helping people find their perfect home, nothing makes me happier than helping to make a reality, that which seems impossible.  It has forced me to re-examine what I believe it takes to make a house into a home.  I've learned that people are rarely looking for walls and a roof.  People are looking for the right frame to put around their family.

The challenges and successes of the past year have made me realise that I really am capable of almost anything, even if the end result doesn't look anything like what I had pictured in the beginning.  I am probably never going to be the slick and polished real estate agent, with the fancy car and immaculate suit.  I am always going to have smears of home made peanut butter (we ran out, and as most moms can attest, I am willing to try just about anything to avoid a trip to the grocery store with the kids, and we had nuts left over from Christmas and, thank you Google) and goodness knows what else on my clothes.  There will always be Cheerios and granola bar wrappers in between the seats of my car, and I can absolutely guarantee I will not be taking any exotic vacations any time soon, nor will I be making any appearances on television either.  Unless it's a news report about the fire department having to breakdown the door of the bathroom at church because there's a 3 year old who locked himself in and there's no key and he's got all the water turned on.  I also know that I understand all the challenges that face today's families better than any other Realtor around as I've had to live through pretty much every single one of them in the space of a single year.  It has made me a better mom, a better person and definitely a better, more compassionate Realtor.  I've realised just how capable I really am, and that I will get everything that needs to get done accomplished, even if it means using Duct Tape instead of a very necessary but misplaced belt when getting the kids ready for little league practise.  Thankfully he didn't need to use the bathroom during practise!

     I think I might try juggling chainsaws in the coming year, just to keep things exciting.

The days grow longer as we wind our way through spring and life gets busier and brighter, with play dates and picnics and long evenings spent outside with friends and neighbours.  It gets harder and harder to get the kids inside and to bed, harder and harder to get them to sleep in through the sunlit mornings.  We are racing around the city trying to fit in all the fun, to be the super mom we all love to be, meeting the needs of my clients, trying to remember to meet a few of my own needs against the looming deadline of summer.  It must be a hold over from our childhoods, waiting for the promise filled days of summer vacation to arrive.  The first niggling of excitement starts as May blooms and Mother's day breaks.  I got to enjoy a day as close to perfect as I could expect.  Sunday morning breakfast of home made waffles topped with the first crops of local strawberries and tons of whipped cream.  Then a wonderful trip to church to meet the newest family member, an adorable bundle of energy from Siberia, now at his new home here Victoria.  We spent a lovely afternoon at the pool playing, swimming and splashing and then made food to share with our neighbours.  It turned out I forgot to put onions in my ham and mixed bean soup, but that wasn't the important part of the day anyways.  My so sweet baby boy insisted on getting me a beautiful amber and sterling silver ring because he saw a commercial on TV about showing mom how much you love how much she does for you with diamonds.  Of course it sure helped that they were referred to as "candy diamonds".  What a brilliant marketing plan.  I'm betting that dad was grateful 4 year olds don't really know what diamonds are!  It was still the sweetest gift I've ever gotten.
Since that wonderful day, I've juggled working 10 and 12 hour days trying to find the perfect home for my wonderful clients with my beautiful baby boy's crazy hectic schedule of school, gymnastics, baseball and friends.  I'm looking at tomorrow, the traditional start of summer, the May long weekend, exhausted, with a heart filled with peace, love and joy.  I can sense a real turning point in the future.  The Real estate market here in Victoria appears to have picked up almost over night and I love being a part of it.  I don't know if it really is God I am feeling as  the sun shines down on my skin or if it's just the warm blush from a glass of wine on the patio after work, but it sure feels good.  then again it could just be that I'm just too tired to care about anything anymore.  Whatever it is, I'll take it.  Especially after the last 9 months!

What do you think makes the difference between a house and a home?  The difference between a neighbourhood and a community?  I've come across a few items that seem at first trivial but make all the difference for me and my family.  The first item that tops my list is a double sink in the kitchen.  I never even realised how much that mattered until  had to make so with a single sink for a couple of months.  I have always known I hated doing dishes, but the one sink almost made me switch to disposable plates, and for someone as committed to environmental stewardship as I am, that's saying a lot!
At one time, I would have sworn that counter space was the one thing I couldn't live without in the kitchen, but thankfully the small appliance manufacturers have stepped up their game and you can get teeny, tiny blenders and food processors designed with today's kitchen sizes in mind.  Santa was good enough to bring us a fantastic little one with a 500 watt motor.  Thank you Santa!
We used it last night to make an amazing batch of home made, all natural almond and walnut butter.  The whole process took about 10 minutes, even with the help of a 4 year old pushing the buttons.  It was so easy and I wish I'd known how to do this years ago, considering how many "peanut free" classes and playgroups we've had over the last 9 years.  The top secret recipe that warrants what the nut butter companies charge is as follows:  First, dump a bunch of room temperature nuts in the processor, whatever combination you desire.  Turn it on.  Keep processing, stopping every once in a while to scrape down the sides.  First you'll get nut sand, then you'll get nut clumps, then you get nut putty, (nutty putty, ha ha) then after about 10 min, you get nut butter!  The longer you go, the creamier and butterier it will get.  You can add spices before you finish as well, cinnamon, cardamon, ginger, nutmeg, heck, garlic if you want.  Just think of the never ending possibilities.  Cashews, macadamia, sunflower.  Or seasonal flavours like pumpkin pie flavoured seed butter.  And it's so simple and fun it makes a great activity for the whole family to get involved in.
I also have to say I do prefer an open concept.  This too, was a late discovery as I have spent most of my life genuinely attracted to the architecture and designs from the 1920's through the early 1960's.  I've recently come to understand that my style has evolved beyond the love of Danish Modern to the realisation that any rooms that aren't part of the main flow of my home go largely unused.  I think it's been a by-product of the evolution of family and the more involved I become with my kids on a day to day, minute by minute basis, the more I truly enjoy them and the less I want walls and doors between us.  Though, it might also just be that as my kids get older and the messes get bigger and harder to contain, my standards just get lower and lower and I no longer feel the need to have a door to hide the mess behind when guests stop by.  Actually, the more I think about it, it's probably the latter.  Though being able to see them at all times even after I've taught them how to use the food processor probably has a little something to do with it as well.
If you're looking for some tips on what to look for before choosing a neighbourhood for your family to settle into, please check out my real estate website:  www.angeliquetroyer.ca 
For anyone new to either Victoria or parenting, or just thinking about either, there's plenty of the kind of activities that make a neighbourhood into a community available in the May/June issue of  Family Chatter May/June issue

Happy April Fools Day Victoria!  I hope everyone had as wonderful a long weekend as I had with my family.  So much sunshine and so many fun activities to participate in.  Good Friday saw us attending the city wide, multi-congregational service held at the Pearkes Recreational Center with over 2000 others of all ages for a start to the Easter celebrations.  It was our first year to attend and it was a great example of the great community we live in here. 
Saturday morning meant the 7th annual Community Easter Egg Hunt at Windsor Park in Oak Bay put on by Providence Community Church.  This event gets better and better every year, with coffee and goodies for the grown ups and an indoor area for shelter that obviously wasn't needed this year.  It took less than 5 minutes for the kids to scoop up the thousands of candy filled eggs!  It truly is a sight to see.
Sunday we were at the Lighthouse Church service and community dinner.  It was a full house and we served mountains of salads, pounds of potatoes, 8 hams, 3 turkeys, and a multitude of assorted sides and desserts to friends and neighbours.  It was heartening to see so many people come out and participate.  It's an uncommon find, a young, vibrant congregation dedicated to community service and an approachable and fun Pastor who reach just about anyone with honesty and humour.
The last day of our long week end brings us to April Fool's Day, with 2 mischievous little boys sneaking cayenne pepper into breakfast, much to every one's surprise.  Another day full of sunshine, and a ton of housework as family departs and a bit of light reading to brush up on the return to GST/PST and the transitional tax.  Now that it's here, do you know how it's going to affect you and your family in their purchases in the coming year and beyond?  Click on the link below for a fairly extensive and relatively easy to understand list of changes.  There is also additional, housing specific information available on my website:  www.angeliquetroyer.ca 
What's taxable, what's not?

Easter is fast approaching with the overwhelming inundation of chocolate displays provoking temper tantrums and melt downs in every store we venture bravely into with our little ones in tow.  We live in the one corner of the world that most closely resembles Eden, which is probably why we also have the dubious distinction of having some of the lowest numbers regarding church attendance in North America.  There is just too much to do outside here!  This sometimes has the unintended effect of suddenly realising we are the parents of children on the cusp of their teen years who have no real concept of God, faith, morality among other things.  It can be a hard subject to broach with no foundation from early childhood to build upon.  Easter is the perfect time to look for activities in our communities to reach out to and participate in.  Most Easter activities are open to the general public and focus on community, fun and making the more serious aspects of the day approachable.  If you're looking for some great activities for your family to participate in this weekend, there are some great options on the Community Postings page under Links on my website:  www.angeliquetroyer.ca  

For those of you just looking for some fun activities to do at home with you family, visit my Easter board on Pinterest:  pinterest.com/angeliquetroyer/easter/ 

As we are heading into the traditionally heady spring boom of the real estate market in what can be described as an optimal buyer's market how does a home owner ensure that their home is going to have the best chance of being the belle of the ball?  If you want to ensure the most dance partners it is paramount to have the right packaging.  First and foremost, find a Realtor you like and trust.  You will have to work as a team to ensure success in this competitive market.  If you find yourself viewing your Realtor in an adversarial role, you will likely have difficulty working as a team.  After all, your Realtor has the same goal as you, maximising your chances of a sale.  Setting a realistic price will give you the best chance of that.  Automated Internet searches only pull listings that fit the exact search parameters the buyer selects.  A home priced even one, single cent above their search budget is a listing they will never see. 
Home prices in Victoria are stable, but there has been a slight dip.  A drop of one percent is nothing to be overly concerned about but does represent a dollar value of $5000 on a  $500,000 home.  If  your home is listed at $500,000 when all the similar homes are listed at $495,000 today's educated and cautious buyers  will do their research and set their searches to top out at $495,000 and they may never even see what could be the perfect home for their family.  Setting a realistic price means more eyes on your listing, increasing the chances of a sale.
Now for the fun part of getting ready for any party, making sure you have the perfect dress.  Anything too complicated makes it hard to have fun and too flashy can overwhelm natural charms.  Toned down,elegant and simple is always a safe bet.  Get rid of the clutter and subdue the quirks if you can.  Tidy surfaces, neutral colours and a well kept exterior will showcase your home's full potential.  Just like on a first date, put your best foot forward, let the buyer picture their own family enjoying life there when they think of the home.  If all they think of when they remember their time in the kitchen is the duck figurine collection, they might not be able to make the commitment to a serious relationship.  For more helpful tips on buying or selling, check out my website:  www.angeliquetroyer.ca

Valentine's Day.  A frenzy of baking, chocolate, sugar sprinkles and crashes, paper hearts, sparkles, stickers and confetti.  As we struggle to show our friends and families a token of affection in a fun and creative way, with our grand ideas being side-lined by the passion of our children's assistance in our projects, with paint on walls, glitter covered carpets, smears of brightly coloured icing across the walls and cupboards that will take weeks to remove the last of it, staying up until midnight to finish pink and purple chocolate chip cupcakes for the pre-school class, worrying about unknown food allergies amongst them, all suffered gladly for the three minutes of pure and unadulterated joy on your toddler's face as he hands out his treats with pride and unguarded love for his friends.  All the work worth it just for that.  But as things wind down and I look forward spending my Valentine's evening at home with my two boys, my thoughts turn to how many limits we place on our love as adults.  We have become a society of people willing to barter our emotions in return for a price.  Only as long as our expectations are met.  What happens though, when none of your expectations are met, when everything is stripped away and the anger fades and you realise that real love survives?  What does that mean in this world of increasingly fickle and shallow relationships?  When the diamonds are gone, the money and security is gone, the future you had always counted on has been altered beyond your wildest dreams, what is the next step?  Accepting the things that were once unacceptable, trusting that there is always a silver lining and start building a new future, a new family, something never imagined.  We are stronger than we ever believe in the beginning and capable of so much more than we can imagine.  In this high tech new world I am struck by how much more important it is becoming to live by the oldest rules we have.  Love, respect, forgive.  Happy Valentines Day, so much more than chocolate, flowers, diamonds and wine.

As the days get longer and brighter and our kids start to venture outdoors again as the non stop deluge of the Victoria winter gets broken up with warm and sunny afternoons, we get ready to celebrate BC's first "Family Day".  My thoughts and heart begin to ponder the ever-changing nature of what family means to each of us.  To some, it is the ones related by blood and DNA, to others, the friends that choose to stand by our sides through the worst of storms, to others, it is their family of faith or community.  And for some, it is an opportunity to come to terms and accept that the ones who should have stood by us, who promised to be family, are all too often the very ones that cause us the most pain and feelings of loss and betrayal.  What makes a family a family?  Step-children and blended children and multiple entanglements and ever-changing partners mean that the stability children counted upon to be their anchor and foundation as they learn to navigate life is in short supply. As the average family, however it looks, finds it harder and harder to see themselves as home owners.  The stability that came with knowing unfailingly where one belongs and where the epicentre of your own universe is, of running with the same band of kids through the same neighbourhood for the length of childhood, becomes a dizzying spiral, ever changing, with a revolving door of role models, none ever really trusted or around for more than a few years.  An upbringing full of followers, profiles, on-line friends and chimera lurking in cyber space.  Renting makes it so much easier to pick up and move to the next location, with so much less fuss.  How much harm are we really doing to our kids?  Parents don't even think that there is anything wrong with changing partners every few years, that it is normal to start dating at 9, that it is silly to expect chastity from teenagers so not to even bother setting limits.  I find myself reeling in a bit of shock, thinking of how fickle these kids will be as adults, and more than a little afraid when I look at the sleeping innocence of my beautiful ones.  I want so much more for my babies.  I want them to know the joy of being able to wake up with their children every single Christmas morning, not every second.  I want them to celebrate 20, 30, even 40 year anniversaries.  I want them to know that their partner meant every single one of their vows, including forgiveness.  Are we doing them a favour by not fighting harder for permanence.  So many people seem to have completely given up on the dream of home ownership, at a time when the combination of low and stable interest rates, with a slight dip in overall prices in our fair city, alongside a fantastic level of inventory are making the jump to home ownership so much more feasible.  It's a perfect storm that's sure not to last as the economies worldwide find their way forward in the modern marketplace.  Click here for great spring , family activities:  www.chatterblock.com   Click here for information on home buying:  www.angeliquetroyer.ca

January, 2013, a new beginning.

As January 2013 comes to a close, we begin to settle into the new year that starts to feel like your new favourite jeans finally being perfectly broken in.  We can all look back and safely say the world didn't end as so many people outwardly scoffed but cringed nervously on the inside.  We can now look forward to a more stable year as housing prices and unit sales stabilise and mortgage rates stay low.  For buyers it is a great time to get your feet wet in the market or at least dip your toes in and sit down with a mortgage broker and take a look at the options currently available.  As prices have become more appealing it means that the reality of home ownership becomes more feasible but it's like wanting to drive across the US from coast to coast.  You can just point yourself in the correct direction and start the engine and eventually you'll arrive at the opposite coast but there will probably be many detours and you might not land where you had originally hoped to, or you can sit down with a detailed map and plan your course before you leave to ensure the shortest and most direct route between where you are and where you want to end up.  A qualified and knowledgeable mortgage specialist can give you the road map that will give you the best possible chance at a successful outcome, and point out any obstacles, hidden or simply forgotten about, like a completely overlooked old cell bill that never got resolved, so the bumps can be smoothed over and ensure a more comfortable journey.  It's time to get focused on the years to come and take advantage of the fantastically low mortgage rates and our very stable housing market before it jumps back to a sellers market, as it will inevitably will.  www.primemortgageworks.com

Balancing mom and career.

As I embark on this new journey, it is becoming ever more clear that finding balance is critical in achieving success and happiness.   Juggling career and motherhood is a herculean task and everytime I think I've finally got a handle on it a new hurdle lands in my path.  My desire to excel at both at the same time often proves overwhelming and exhausting, unused to failure, I am often unwilling to compromise at either.  Planning my son's fourth birthday party for forty people, including making eight cakes from his favorite painting, (Wayne Thiebaud's Cakes, 1969) with client meetings and property showings alongside volunteering at church and dealing with the emotional wake of a seperation has left me feeling exhausted.  How does one balance a budding new career with the endless rounds of winter colds and flus?  How does one reconcile an absolute faith in God's path when confronted with the irredeemable in man?  Knowing what needs to get done and being able to accomplish it are two entirely different things.  We all struggle and we all toil,.  What, in the end, is it that divides those that succeed from those who fail?  What is the definition of success?  Being able to get your child to sleep through the night?  A comfortable bank account?  Being able to look around your living room and realize you belong to a community of amazing friends?  Knowing when to cut your losses and walk away?  When you recognize the great and critical difference between being a loving parent and a good parent?  When somebody figures it out, please let me know.  www.angeliquetroyer.ca